What You Should Stop Saying to People in Long-Distance Relationships


The other night, I came home to my lola watching a teleserye wherein the lead actor was asking what’ll happen to their relationship once his partner goes abroad. “Do we need to break up? Because I don’t trust you,” he said. It was a realistic argument, albeit also the reason why many people assume the worst toward long-distance relationships.

I’m not alone in saying that there are things that people in LDRs are sick of hearing. Most of them are either unsolicited “advice” or simply negative from those who are against the idea. Here are the most common and what a lot of us are probably thinking. Feel free to add more in the section in case I missed out on them.

“It’s not going to last”

Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Are you a fortune teller? Are you saying that a person’s x-year relationship is null and void now?

“It’s not a real relationship if you’re not together”

Statistics show that long-distance relationships are more common now due to circumstances like work or school. Many happen because of online dating. Physical contact and presence aren’t the only factors that make a good relationship strong, you know.

“It must be hard to talk with the different time zones”

People who say this probably haven’t heard of the Internet and/or social media. Kidding aside, we use chat apps and Skype to talk every day. Although I’ll be the first to admit that video calls aren’t always feasible because 1) we’re both busy with work and 2) Philippine Internet. But as a friend of mine said: “If you want to communicate, you will do anything to talk. It works out as long as both of you want it to.”

“He/She will cheat on you”

Yes, this is one of many fears that people in LDRs have and we don’t need anyone drilling it in our heads. Just like with any relationship, trust plays a big role. After all, why would you be with someone—regardless if it’s long-distance or not—if you don’t trust them?

“Do you have an imaginary boyfriend?”

Yes, this was an actual question from a guy who tried to hit on me. (At a mall. In broad daylight. Ugh.) I told him I wasn’t interested as I had a boyfriend. When he asked where he was, I told him he was abroad. He obviously didn’t believe me, hence the question and still tried to pursue me. I honestly don’t know if I’m more annoyed at the “imaginary boyfriend” bit or the fact that he doesn’t know the word “no.” I guess it’s both!

“He/She’s not coming back”

Then buy them a plane ticket to come back. Or give us a plane ticket to go to them. Problem solved!


Art by Lara Intong

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